Reasons Why Actor Chris Evans & I Should Get Married.
According to my Instagram, we’ve been married since 2019.
Yes, this is a joke. BFFR.
Since Christopher Robert Jamal Evans has FINALLY be dubbed the Sexiest Man Alive by People Magazine, I thought it would be great to write about all the reasons we should make it officially official and tie the knot. It’s weird that it took the folks over at People so long to catch up. Like… the rest of us been knew. Where y’all been at??
In 2019, after going through a tumultuous break up, I began making videos on Tiktok about being the imaginary wife of Captain America actor Chris Evans. Not only did it get me out of a slump, it was a funny and entertaining way to pass the time while being on lock-down during the onset of the Covid pandemic in 2020. I grew my former tiktok account to 230,000 followers (as of March 2022 the account was perma banned) and I was dubbed Mrs. Chris Evans by those following me. Yes, even before Lizzo (Sorry, girl. You can be my honorary sister wife.)
Anyway, here are a few reasons why Chris and I should tie the knot:
- Chris Evans is an ass man — and I got them dump trucks. Don’t believe me? See below.
2. Stephen Colbert is married, with no evident signs of wanting a divorce. Love that for him. Yes, it appears that I may have a “type”.
3. Chris Evans would have the best bonus kids on earth. Two step sons named Thor and Thanos respectively. What an honor, right?
4. I’d be the greatest step mom to Dodger. Honestly, truly. Matching family/pet pajamas and I’ll get him doggie crocs. Dodge would also have a step doggie brother named Goose.
5. We would be the most badass power couple the world would ever see, next to Bey and Jay-Z, ofc.
6. Look at this photo. Tell me we ain’t cute standing next to each other. (If you say we don’t look good together, you’re lying to yourself and you know it.)
7. We could quite literally change the world together. See The Church of Chris Evans.
8. This isn’t really a reason, I just wanted to say that if anyone from Zaddy Evans’ PR team sees this: Please don’t sue me. Also, check your email. Love yew.
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You can find me @theveronicamarz on all platforms.
